A LONG WEEK

One week ago, this very minute I was sitting at my daddy's funeral. I realized that I have been grieving for 5 years. Every since the doctor told my daddy that he had 6 months to live way back then. God granted us 4.5 years longer than what the doctor said, and a lot of those days were good days. I had the honor of living in the home with my daddy for 2 years as an adult. I had the honor of sitting with him when mama had places to go, and talking to him about everything from men to children. We shared so many things, and one of the last things he told me was that he wanted to live long enough to see me happy. I asked him if he was breathing and he said yes, I said well you have accomplished that goal, because daddy I am happy. And I am. Don has seen to that. My friends at crosswalk have changed my life. I have more now than I have ever had in my life. I am closer to the Lord than I have ever been. My children are healthy and happy, and living for God. What more could a girl ask for.

I want to stop grieving... I sat aside a time to grieve, now it's celebration time. A time to celebrate all the wonderful memories that I shared with my daddy. I am so glad he isn't in pain anymore. I am glad he can breathe freely, I'm glad he can walk around without becoming short of breath. I know where he is. I take comfort that our last words to each other were "I love you daddy", and "I love you too, Priss."

This has been such a long week. I have not slept all night long, not the first night since he died, I keep dreaming about him, and I wake up and realize he's not here and cry myself back to sleep. Daddy would not have wanted me to do that. I have masked my hurt with "I'm ok", but my true friends have seen through that. But I am tired of hurting. I have no other choice but to celebrate now. Jools, Rick, and Justin what would I have done without your sweet words. Don, I never would have made it without you, God truly used you to send me messages straight from the throne room. I love and appreciate all of you, mere thank you can't convey what you all have done for me. Thank you for loving me. I can be hard to love at times. I love each one of you in a different way. You each mean something different to me. All my crosswalk friends I appreciate your sweet words and prayers.

One week can make one weak, but with support like I've had, from thousands of miles away has literally held me up. I don't have you here to physically hold or hug me, but your words and prayers have substained me. I LOVE YOU !!!

I am going to be ok. I am going to celebrate, and I hope you will celebrate with me. My daddy is in heaven, and his little girl misses him, but I am in better shape than I have ever been. I am truly loved, and I KNOW IT !!!!