SOMEONE STOP THIS ROLLERCOASTER, I WANT TO GET OFF

The past few weeks, have been one rollercoaster ride after another. First I had to deal with a mamogram finding 3 lumps in my left breast, the mamogram came out benign, but due to the presence of these lumps, I was scheduled for an ultrasound. I had been sick, breast bone was sooo very sore, and I was getting suspicious bruising on my left arm and in the pits of both my arms. I was so afraid, I laid in the floor a couple of times and just prayed. People all over the world were praying for me, and one of my friends even took off from his job and contacted his church members, and prayed for me. The results,,, NOTHING..the ultrasound couldn;t even find a lump, not to mention 3. Oh Praise God... but for a week and a half, I was afraid, I was consumed with fear and doubt.

Then Lee hurt his back, and has lost his job, well dont you know I am concerned for him. That's really I can can say about that.

And then Saturday night I almost lost daddy, oh I was horrified, and felt so alone. Mama had her church family there with her. I thought my heart was going to burst, I think for the first time I really admitted to myself that I was losing my daddy. At that very moment, when I thought I was going to crack, my phone rang. A good friend called me, just knew the exact time. God knows what he is doing..that phone call was no mistake. Then daddy got a little better, I went back Sunday and stayed all day.. He was soo sick. I was able to tell him how much I loved him, and express what he meant to me. I kissed and hugged him, and thought how lucky I was that I had a chance to do that, so many people loose thier parents to sudden death, without having that time to love on them. But it has it's downfalls too, watching him die is so hard. I feel helpless. But Monday he perked back up, he is feeling a letter better. He even ate for me, it made him sick, but if we can at least get a little food down him.

And then there is my personal life, OH my heavens what is happening to me. My mind is going 10 thousand directions. I am happy, yet scared, I am full of Joy, yet cautious. I am seeking God's perfect will in every decision I make. I have tried to make decisions for myself in the past, and have messed up so bad. So I will give God the controls and maybe he will be merciful and stop this rollercoaster so I can get off.