YOU ADJUSTED MY LAYERS
Healing comes in several steps. The pain is the infection.. The forgivness is the scab, and when the scab falls off there is total healing. These are the layers in which God shed from my wounds ...the healing process if you will. A poem I wrote to describe the stages of my healing... please let it bless you. It was with the help of a precious friend that, with the healing touch of God, that I made it to the point I am today. Thanks Don...I will always remember your encouragement. You are a dear friend..... This is for you...
YOU ADJUSTED MY LAYERS
By: Renae Mixon Caswell 2005 (c)
You took the layers off one by one, I didn’t know that it could be done.
The pain and heartaches that I had tucked away, you gave me strength to look at today.
A million times I’ve tried to do the same, I called each one by their particular name.
But viewing them meant so much pain, that I closed the doors and walked away again.
The quilt and shame I dealt with first, you made me see that they were a curse.
Because I had nothing to be guilty for, the game they played left me with no score.
Embarrassment next was a hard one to see, you showed me that no one was staring at me.
Although I felt it was written on my face, no one knew there was a secret in place.
Abandonment stuck a little as I pulled, I see now how the people who stayed with me could.
For I really wasn’t ever alone, they were there all the time to do well and not harm.
Rejection was swollen and harder to see, I held on tight while you took it from me.
For me to believe that people love me as I am, was hard to imagine and I fell to the ground.
Loneliness left marks and was hard to remove, no one could understand this, but you.
The knowledge that people were all around, put that demon to rest in it’s own hollow ground.
Hate was the hardest to look at you see, his reared his ugly head back and stared at me.
I slapped him down, with the strength that you gave, he has to go back to his shallow grave.
The layers now lying all on the ground. I walked around looking without making a sound.
My eyes must be playing tricks on my head. Because I see them there and they appear to be dead.
And the most beautiful part of this task brought me tears, the smooth surface that lie underneath all those years.
I saw innocence, trust, faith, hope, and dreams, I saw my young self staring back at me.
It was then I collapsed on the ground. I can’t look anymore no matter how hard I try.
For the first time in my adult life, today, I watched those demons run away.
The beauty of God’s love starting shining through, he brought you here to do what I couldn’t do.
Hidden deep inside was the wonder of it all, the hole wasn’t patched, there was no hole at all.
For Love was the foundation that held it for me. Surrounding my heart protecting it you see.
I know now that all they took from me, was not in His plan it was not supposed to be.
The evil that stole my childhood faith, put blinders on my eyes I could not have seen the way.
So I gave what I had to those who I thought would love me and protect me and bring me no harm.
In looking I saw what I needed to see, that there really wasn’t anything wrong with me.
It all was because of my peaceful ways, they are to blame they need the shame.
I now also see God’s perfect love for me, healed all the scars and set my soul free.
Again will I walk with my head upright, the weight has now lifted I can start my new life.
It’s amazing to me how God uses you, all the gifts that you have and things that you do.
I now can return the strength that you gave, and pray it will work for you the same way.
The sweetest of all the events of this day, is that I have you to encourage my way.
A friendship like ours is the perfect place to start, now that I have my brand new heart.
By: Renae Mixon Caswell 2005 (c)
You took the layers off one by one, I didn’t know that it could be done.
The pain and heartaches that I had tucked away, you gave me strength to look at today.
A million times I’ve tried to do the same, I called each one by their particular name.
But viewing them meant so much pain, that I closed the doors and walked away again.
The quilt and shame I dealt with first, you made me see that they were a curse.
Because I had nothing to be guilty for, the game they played left me with no score.
Embarrassment next was a hard one to see, you showed me that no one was staring at me.
Although I felt it was written on my face, no one knew there was a secret in place.
Abandonment stuck a little as I pulled, I see now how the people who stayed with me could.
For I really wasn’t ever alone, they were there all the time to do well and not harm.
Rejection was swollen and harder to see, I held on tight while you took it from me.
For me to believe that people love me as I am, was hard to imagine and I fell to the ground.
Loneliness left marks and was hard to remove, no one could understand this, but you.
The knowledge that people were all around, put that demon to rest in it’s own hollow ground.
Hate was the hardest to look at you see, his reared his ugly head back and stared at me.
I slapped him down, with the strength that you gave, he has to go back to his shallow grave.
The layers now lying all on the ground. I walked around looking without making a sound.
My eyes must be playing tricks on my head. Because I see them there and they appear to be dead.
And the most beautiful part of this task brought me tears, the smooth surface that lie underneath all those years.
I saw innocence, trust, faith, hope, and dreams, I saw my young self staring back at me.
It was then I collapsed on the ground. I can’t look anymore no matter how hard I try.
For the first time in my adult life, today, I watched those demons run away.
The beauty of God’s love starting shining through, he brought you here to do what I couldn’t do.
Hidden deep inside was the wonder of it all, the hole wasn’t patched, there was no hole at all.
For Love was the foundation that held it for me. Surrounding my heart protecting it you see.
I know now that all they took from me, was not in His plan it was not supposed to be.
The evil that stole my childhood faith, put blinders on my eyes I could not have seen the way.
So I gave what I had to those who I thought would love me and protect me and bring me no harm.
In looking I saw what I needed to see, that there really wasn’t anything wrong with me.
It all was because of my peaceful ways, they are to blame they need the shame.
I now also see God’s perfect love for me, healed all the scars and set my soul free.
Again will I walk with my head upright, the weight has now lifted I can start my new life.
It’s amazing to me how God uses you, all the gifts that you have and things that you do.
I now can return the strength that you gave, and pray it will work for you the same way.
The sweetest of all the events of this day, is that I have you to encourage my way.
A friendship like ours is the perfect place to start, now that I have my brand new heart.
posted by Renae at 7:42 AM
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