THE FIRST 5 YEARS cotinued

The first 5 years continued....

To get back to my story.... things were very stressful during my pregancy..I was so happy and running around trying to get my nursery ready, constantly preparing and re-cleaning it so for an excuse to spend time in that beautiful room, this was the days before ultra-sounds for the purpose of determing the sex of your baby, so I did'nt know for sure but I felt like she was a girl the whole time. Bobby was pretty good to me during this time, he only upset me just a few times. He often brought his frustrations from work home to me. I wanted to just pack up my nursery and leave sometimes, but i was in this thing for the long haul...my baby was gonna have a daddy, and a home life that I wasn't always afforded to have. The delevery date came and I don't think I have ever seen Bobby be so kind to me, he hung in there, along with the rest of the town I think..she was delevered after 8 long hours of hard labor, pre-epiderals too, we took our beautiful baby girl home...Paula Nicole.... life was sweet. I had my beautiful family... 10 months later I was very sick and went to the doctor, thinking I had a kidney infection only to decover I was pregnant again..when I told Bobby he cussed and cussed... hey I didn't get this way by myself, no it wasn't planned...but it was my baby, I was thrilled.. it took him a few hours then he too came around. At this point I was already 4-5 months and had no idea... then my baby boy was taken by emergency C-Section as I developed complications, he was 1 month early so tiny 5 pounds 11 oz.. he couldn't breathe and they were afraid to life flight him to another hospital...so we kept him there and prayed... 4 days later they let me hold my baby for the first time. So I went home...2 babies 18 months apart....I still was thrilled and blessed. I don't remember much about my life between then and when they were about 4 and 5 years old.. I do remember lots of arguing, things being thrown, hurtful words, and then the horrible day that he hit me, he hit me sooo hard he knocked my glasses in the floor board of the car.. Me and the kids left him that day. I had a concussion, my head hurt no stop for 2 weeks. And yep you guessed it stupid me came back. I was so afraid, I didn't want my babies to grow up without a daddy.. I was so stupid, what was I thinking?

and the story rages on...