THE MEANEST MONSTER WORE A BADGE

He was an officer of the law, his job was to serve and protect, that did not make him above the law, but you couldn't tell him that.

A year before we married Bobby was in a foot pursuit, and he twisted a testicle, he laid in the local small hospital with ice packs and an automatic pain shot every 4 hours, after 2 weeks and no hope in sight, his dad demanded they transfer him to a larger hospital in Dothan. The next morning after his admission Bobby lost that testicle..Another week of lying up with pain shots every 4 hours. Then 5 more weeks of recovery, eating pain medications as if they were candy. I will have to say I'm sure it hurt. I truly believe this is when His monster took over. I wasn't aware of all the pain meds, I knew Bobby as we worked together but was unaware that he was using this much pain medication, until later when he would give a testimony at church telling of this hell.

Our courtship was very sweet, he never was out of the way to me, always respected me, and I knew I had to have found my knight in shining armor, althought I will have to admit, that everytime Butch was in town I found myself riding by his house, just hoping I would run into him. I knew I loved him and didn't need to be with Bobby, can we say re-bound

My granny, my dad's mom, and my heart,died in March just prior to my wedding in May, we buried her in the dress she had bought to wear to my, her first wedding for a grandchild, wedding. My heart was dented, I missed her so much. My dad was still in prison when I graduated from high school and when I got married. Why didn't I wait until he got out so he could walk me down the aisle....will I ever forgive myself for that, I'm not sure. We didn't know if he would make parole in September or not, he had come up for parole before and hadn't made it, I had to move on with my life I thought. So, his brother my uncle Page, who by the way had been like a father to me, walked me down the aisle...we had lived with Uncle Page and Aunt Sue a large portion of our lives. My wedding was beautiful, I paid for the whole thing, mama couldn't afford it, so I paid for it. I didn't even look at my face when I put my dress on. I can remember thinking my dress was so beautiful, but I never checked to see if I was...Because I knew that I was not and I didn't want to be beautiful. (I look back now and see that I was very beautiful that day). The wedding went off without a hitch, and as soon as we got in the car to head to the honeymoon, and got around the block out of everyone's eyeshot. Bobby placed his hand on my legs and started moving up, I placed my hand on his hand and said watch it, as I had done so many times before. He told me, that is mine now..I should have jumped out of that car and ran home.

This is about as far as I can go today...this is soooo hard, I know it's good for me, but it's hard to drudge up this memories.

until next time...